All You Need Is A Sprinkle Of Egotism

Dear Younger Self,

Late last year, I attended a BNI meeting. As expected, the room was filled with middle-aged adults running similar businesses—mainly in IT, finance, and labour work. A few were there chasing quick referrals, and while I can definitely see the benefits of these meetings, my mind kept circling one question:

How should I present myself?

Technically, I’m representing my company and my position, even though I don’t really have one. When people asked, I told them I was a project manager. It sounds impressive, and to be fair, I’m not lying. The only project I’m currently managing is my company’s social media, but hey, it still counts.

The more I thought about it, though, the more I realised how I presented myself today didn’t feel like me. I fell back into this default role: the young, polite girl. It’s an automatic reaction whenever I feel like I have little power in a room.

But here’s the thing, I didn’t want to be polite and quiet today. I wanted to come across as intimidating (in a good way). A powerful young woman who speaks with confidence and commands attention. Instead, I was nervous, shaky, and overthinking every word I said.

So, what’s the point of this rant? To call myself out. I know I’m good at what I do. When I’m comfortable, I can speak with authority and clarity and I sound pretty damn smart. But there’s a pattern I’ve noticed: when I believe, even for a second, that I’m just a bit better than the person in front of me, my confidence skyrockets. Suddenly, I’m presenting myself exactly how I want to be seen: as a total badass.

Maybe that’s the key. Maybe it’s all about confidence. If I can convince myself that just for a moment I’m the smartest person in the room, I might start creating better first impressions. The kind of impression I actually want to leave behind.

I guess what I need is a sprinkle of egotism.

Love,

Le Hare

Life Lessons

1. Confidence begins with mindset. Sometimes, convincing yourself you belong is the first step to commanding respect.

2. Default behaviours can hold you back. Recognise when old habits don’t align with the version of yourself you want to present.

3. Your self-perception shapes others’ perceptions of you. Believe in your strengths, and others will follow suit.

4. It’s okay to own your expertise. A little self-assuredness can go a long way.

This Week’s Wins

• Attended my first BNI meeting and navigated the networking space with authenticity.

• Identified key patterns in how I present myself, giving me a new area for growth.

• Successfully managed a social media project, keeping content fresh and engaging.

• Stepped out of my comfort zone and reflected deeply on how to improve my confidence.

Resource Recommendation

Book: The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman

This book dives into the science and psychology of confidence, especially for women. It’s a perfect resource for anyone looking to better understand how to embrace self-assurance and present themselves powerfully.

Reflective Prompt

What’s one habit or behaviour you fall back on in moments of doubt, and how can you start shifting it to align with the person you want to become?

A: In moments when I feel uncomfortable or lacking confidence, I notice myself tripping over my words. It’s as if my windpipe becomes a sliding door, opening and closing in quick, unpredictable bursts, catching me off guard and flooding me with embarrassment. In those moments, I imagine my audience perceiving me as less certain, less convincing.

I’ve come to accept that these vulnerable moments might always be part of my journey, especially as I continue to face new challenges. But I also know I want to grow into someone who presents themselves with confidence and ease.

To be completely honest, I might never fully escape this habit. But I’ve realised I’m not around others 24/7. When I’m alone, I can allow myself to release those built-up emotions—through reflection, through expression, through simply letting them exist without judgment. My hope is that this practice will ease the pressure and, over time, leave fewer surprises that trigger this habit.

Your Turn.